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a gal who doesn't like to be referred to as a womens by men who are 30 years old and have the ability to spell and think as that of a 7 year old boy and think that they can and should be having sex.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Friday Snooze

Today's posts are boring and I am crazy busy. Just one loser and one who needs to open his eyes and I need to close mine.

I was a lover of the apple pie and this mens just made me associate a douche bag with it, it's ruined now. Fourth of July will never be the same for me again. I will say this for the 322nd time, mens, do not write LOL, I know that you already look and sound pathetic, but it is like nails down a chalk board, it's about me and my comfort when reading your desperate pleas for a CL babe. (PS I don't like the picture, where are you?)

Whoa. I don't like having a visual of this guy masturbating in his office, well anywhere for that matter, and I need to believe that he is not actually masturbating in his wallet. Norma Jean....hello? Change your phone number, change your email address. How does this mens know when Norma Jeans man is out of town? Angry mens who wrote this, you might want to take a second look at Norma Jean in all of this as well. Poor Deb.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

1 am Ass Clowns and Douche Bags Mens.

I am sluggish today and my arms are tired from carrying Marie up 18th Street, keeping her from falling and chipping her beautiful teeth and shoving drunk ass mens clowns from her at 1am this morning, so my rants about the douche bags we call mens are brief today.

I see flip flops with socks. Womens of CL, we aren't that lonely, or loney.Whatsssss uuupppppp with those vehicles? I am tagging this one as a drunk ass at 10:30am.

Dear Douche, I mean Dave:
If you are 190 pounds and are 5'8 you can't show us any proof that you still have the physique of a body builder. Sorry tool. You are not an attractive guy, you are too old to be a party man. What is with you and the paycheck thing? And the academic credentials? Last time I checked, diplomas are not proof of a good catch or a good person. Can you tell I don't like you?

As I mentioned, I am tired today and don't have time to read his boring shitty ad, but wanted to post this because of his pics. Is he missing an arm pit in that second photo? What's up?

Ok, Jewish man wanting to slide his Jewish penis into a Jewish vagina has reposted. I don't understand what he thinks is attractive about himself with that deer caught in the headlights photo. He cleaned up his ad though, last time was all about us woments vagina's.

Shut up with your rant, but I like the bunny.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Rats, tigers, and whores, Oh My!

It's difficult to focus on my mens on CL when there is a truck with a large air filled rubber rat on top of it with a blow horn shouting out all the wrongs that Jury's Hotel is into. Shut-up large rat, shut-up!

Dear Drunk Whore Babes of CL: Skip this one and go on to the next ad which will surely be up your drunk ways alley. Don't let me fool you, I am curious about the arm chair covers on his legs, but more interested in what appears to be a trash bag covering a majority of the fireplace. It's a wonderful thing to finally find a mens who is ok with our zits and ugly ways and will still hold our hand in public in a very manly way. I got sucked into his ad with his headline, makes me want to create one of my rap-rants that only sounds good to my best friend and me.

A personal ad who is not only posting in the most annoying font and spacing and writing style, but is plugging Obama. I seriously question his professional success when he writes like this, unless he is drunk, then I will make an exception. But maybe I am going all softy on this mens and his quest for a race not important CL babe for him to pamper with no regrets and sharing with the woments that he is tall and athletic with no gut and a heterosexual male, isn't he on the mens iso woments page? Go get him, babes!

Dear Hippie Haired Stephen King look alike,

No, I did not guess that you were an aspiring writer, what did you say in your first paragraph that alluded to this? I read your ad because I am 5'9 and thin and a dork, and holy shit, I am wearing a black skirt right now, it must be love. Why would you decide on your hair length based on a CL babes desire for it to be long or short? I am curious if your overnight retail job is at the Springfield Wal-Mart? Best of luck in your search for your tall skinny woment, I have to pass based on so many reasons.

I want to go!! But not with you. sorry. I learned from my experience with the David Sedaris fiasco. shivvver. (and added this just to plug Jose Gonzalez as he is indeed fantastic).

I don't want to chill in your krib, but in your bathroom. My mind is going all kinds of crazy with that tiger skin on the bathroom wall, and you know I worked out the sign that is in the back ground in the mirror. Oh yes and what the fuck?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Tiny Brained Mens Tuesday

Womens, mens, fans, my apologies for not posting and emailing the juicy tales of the CL mens search for love and sex, but I have been a busy woment with work, life, curling my hair and drinking some beer. Will post more regularly as I know my darlings read this over their coffee.

Woment with VD need not apply, flab will be considered. Get this Jew in your vagina and hang out with Dave, you deserve the best.

I would have appreciated this much more without so many unfortunates and fortunates. His desperate try at writing is stunted with yet another usage of "woment", why are mens using this to describe the babes, or Apes, of CL? Well, this lithe Princess Ape needs some firewood, so I have to go. Be on the look out for Ape III tale.

Who the fuck is this mens making demands and assumptions about what us womens should and shouldn't be obsessed with when he can't even spell? His mug shot/deer caught in the headlights pics are so sexxxy, my woments, don't you want to jump him with that thumbs up photo of him in his tux in the hotel room? CL babes, would you really want him as your lover?

So 2001. Puhleez.

Uh-oh. Someone was nipping at the whiskey and ranted about us bitches on CL.

Oh, yes, yes, I can certainly mock you. Womens, do we care if our mens can spell, articulate themselves in an intelligent manner, proof read their own ad? If not, please respond to this- with just a few words, as I am certain he is only capable of understanding a few.

Men Who Make Us Gag Archive