Tool Tuesday

Definitely split personality. This mens should have left out the "disabled mind" as well as "can I be human" it really makes us womens and woment to feel concerned about our safety should we decide to date this mens. What is he when he feels he isn't human? What happened to his mind to make it disabled? One head shot was plenty.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/555730206.html

This is added mainly for the photos, oh and all the talk about horse lovers and poo.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/555576002.html

There is a bar called "The Green Street" located in Crawfordsville, IN. Go there. Now. She's there. And leave us alone.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/555464203.html

Looking for a hottie under 150 pounds. Does height matter in that equation? Why doesn't he just go to a strip club? In fact, why don't all these mens just go to a strip club? Sorry to the stripper womens out there, my sending these losers your way.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/555333358.html

Pretty sure this is the same guy as above with full on face photo (how can I tell? Hmmm, 150 pounder requirement). A-ha! And YIKES to that mug!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/555318000.html

I wonder if he would be threatened by a womens who could spell? Would he give the womens a discount at CVS? I need some new lipstick.....hmmmm. If he's just looking for a date, aren't there lots of womens in and out at the CVS who he could ask out?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/555293237.html

He obviously hasn't looked at the mens looking for woment on CL to understand that the mens are like the woment who post on here. What a loser ass tool and why doesn't he just shut the fuck up?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/555153176.html

Monkey-Ass Monday (with a bonus: a monkey from my hometown)

MONKEY'S in the DC AREA:

Womens, we have a new one...we are now referred to as "woment". What I want to do is respond to this dumb fuck just to meet him and kick him in the balls. I hate him. I hate how he wrote his ad. He's top of the list right now of the ultimate "men who make us gag" because of all the LOL's, hahahaha's, all of the all cap words and all of the incorrect spellings. What a fuck-wad.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/554381646.html

I like how he looks as though he's having a ball in the tattoo photo. I am perplexed about mentioning the hip replacement surgery. I am just perplexed.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/554551671.html

I can't imagine a womens interested in having this guy explore her body. Mens, please use the blurred out option for your face instead of a green mask. It makes you look like satan of the aliens.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/554542445.html


POSTING FROM CRAWFORDSVILLE, INDIANA (aka: my hometown)

Womens one of the many reasons I moved away from Crawfordsville is what you are about to see here. Let's face it, he's lying, he is not buff as there aren't any gyms in town. And I will bet you that he is searching for a womens to convert her to his faith.
http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/m4w/553269356.html

Oh, snap!!! Here is Rodney again...what did I tell you?! Womens, always listen to me. Anyone care to TRY and explain the Marilyn Monroe and macaroni references?
http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/m4w/509907605.html

Shit! Rodney, Rodney, Rodney. Poor Rodney is desperate. His "P.S." addresses his terrible photo which is certainly not him looking buff and his "P.P.S." makes him sound like a total pussy.
http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/m4w/537656764.html


PATHETIC POSTING FROM INDIANAPOLIS

Hot guy? More like Stretch Armstrong in high wasted denim. Nice phone. What a tool.
http://indianapolis.craigslist.org/m4w/522468528.html

Desperate Friday

In photo #1, I like that he went to JCrew and bought a new outfit for his loser mirror photo. Regarding photo #2, if you are promoting your 8 inches of fun, move the shampoo bottle in front of the mirror so we can have a better look. Can you please post a mirror photo of your thick tongue? We womens need to see what we are in for.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/551038117.html

This is just one of those postings that makes me really question why these mens put this stuff online and think that a womens will respond.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/551014039.html

Zing!! I almost peed in my panties reading this, it's fantastic. "I have a lick-her license". Damn. That is GOOD.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/550962143.html

I am posting this because I am sick of looking at it all the fucking time. He has posted every single day for the past week that I know of. STOP IT. NO ONE IS INTERESTED. What is with you and your truck?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/550770420.html

This is for all you people who are bored and don't care about indents. WARNING: it might take you an hour to read this.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/550680828.html

Hate. Because you said that you are the white guy in the pic. We womens are not retarded. We see pic, we see ONE guy. We come to the conclusion that it's you. White or black or green, it doesn't matter, because there is ONE guy in the pic and we can tell that you are white.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/550483083.html

I must be going soft because I am posting this to congratulate a mens who actually posts some decent photos. Although the one on the chair with guitar is making my eye twitch a little, and he looks consistently stoned, he isn't being a loser ass mirror guy or a scaredy-cat blurring out his face. And, womens...we do like it when mens are straight to the point, am I right? None of that five pages of "I like, I want, you should be, LOL" bullshit.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/550454671.html

Dumb-Ass Mens Wednesday

Are you a woman trapped in a man's body? Oh, whoops...that's a whole different story...This boy-mens is creeping me out with his weird boy-mens/girl-womens sex chatter.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/548752679.html

Hello to my older womens looking for a younger mens on CL! Here's someone who you might enjoy the wines with and drawing smiley faces with!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/548910308.html

I first just wanted to post this because whatever he is sitting in front of makes him look like he has a red bow in his hair.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/548887278.html
But then he had to go and list his myspace URL....Here's his myspace page in case you are that bored today (please notice that he has a friend titled "I fart constantly") www.myspace.com/trs_rex

Marriege? If he wants it so bad, he should learn how to spell it. When looking for a womens on CL is it necessary to type in all caps "Not convicted in any crimes"? Also, what does he mean "wants to marry a lovely and simple woman like me"? Is HE a woman, too? Very confusing. I do think he/she wants a cute womens to wipe his ass and feed his ugly mug. (was slightly tempted to email him to get his webpage to see what is so freaking special about him, but believe it or not, I am busy today and will just make the assumption that he is ugly).
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/548898566.html

Us womens clearly get that you mens are white when you post a photo and you don't need to tell us you are white (however, there are times when you mens tan way too much, so we do need clarification in those instances). And, fill out an application for employment? Are you wanting a maid or a partner in life?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/548784665.html

This guy is looking for a womens who is beautiful, sweet and smart. Can you believe it? Although he doesn't expect his womens to own a car or have a Zip Car membership, he does want her to wear big hoopy earrings. Women's, oh womens...do you really want to go back to his place where he has a bare mattress under that germ infected thing he calls a blanket and possibly sit in his fancy white plastic chairs next to his bed?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/548540186.html

Wait! Santa Fe, New Mexico is in the United States?? LOL!!! OMG!! Rule #1: when posting a personal ad on CL, do not wait till you have consumed your 8th jack and coke, Rule #2: Learn how to spell and use punctuation, are you looking for an idiot like yourself? Rule #3: Don't post a photo of yourself looking shit-faced.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/548646470.html

And the big wrap-up of today's CL:
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/548740432.html

Tuesday's dirt, I mean mens, of the day

I am stunned. Is it more loser-like to post a photo of yourself standing in front of the mirror with your picture phone or sitting in front of a mirror with your photo taking laptop?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/547269367.html

That's a photogenic tongue, womens! And if you don't mind that he is into the casual hook-ups and one night stands then I think you should reply that you dig his tongue and are interested in your vagina melting and developing random ooze from his diseased penis.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/547198932.html

Here's another cheap loser ass posting on CL and taking pictures of himself in his mom's bathroom. Not sexy, mens. Really. and no I am not LOL'ing about what I am saying.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/547115159.html

Let me break this down for my womens:
1. He's educated but non-educated in the grammar and spell check arena.
2. He demands you quit smoking after 2 weeks of being with him, because it's about him.
3. He expects blow-jobs too soothe your oral needs, it's about you, not him.
4. He expects you to have a great health plan (Womens, this is a whole new category from our mens on CL wanting us to own a car).
5. He loves the kid who lives with him, not the one who doesn't
6. He has a landing strip on his chin...(need I say more?)
7. He's the mens of all mens
8. Did you pay attention?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/547038408.html

If (and I say IF) he's on a VERY discreet website to meet people of status, then why is he hitting the bar scene and meeting low quality womens? (I have to interrupt myself here by saying that there ARE quality womens at bars....I am going to one tonight...I believe I am a quality womens and the womens I am going with to said bar is a quality women) ok, ok, ok... And if (again, IF) he is on a VERY discreet website to meet people of status, is he just insulting the mens and womens of CL to say that they are not of status and in turn insulting himself? Womens, this mens is a liar. liar. liar. Oh, and a cheesy mens.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/546971129.html

Snoozeville Monday

Boring posts today, or maybe I am just not impressed. But the married guy with the tanned-banana-hammock slinging penis from Friday re-posted today. Surprising.

He's coming out of a bathroom. There is a poster of a tiger(?) on the wall. There are old fashioned little pics on the wall. He lives in Franconia. His mom's basement?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/546155375.html

I almost fell asleep reading this ad. He's looking for a woman with as shitty music tastes as he has. Why mention politics if you don't talk about politics?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/546096669.html

My body is tingling all over thinking about his married bald-head and hairy chest...LOL!!!! (please, for the love of all womens, stop using lol!)
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/546061517.html

Does a good woman still exist? It's doubtful, we all suck. Read this one if you want to roll your eyes and if you are very bored.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/546029683.html

(IF) he (wants to have sex with you) he will pay for your meal (the 2nd time) you get together. (I bet he will end up paying for meal #1 if he wants to have sex with you) but you are on your own for meeting #1. (what the fuck?)
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/545906867.html

This is one of the most pathetic ones. right?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/545893179.html

The typical myspace mirror pic? Aren't all the loser mens doing this?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/545800889.html

Potential mens for your weekend pleasure

What the fuck would a ballerina be doing on Craigslist? I think she is busy. You triple dog dare me to pose as a ballerina?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/542807131.html

First of all, he doesn't look "white" to me. Tanning bed? Sunless tanning lotion? Who knows. But what I do know is this: if you are in a sexless and emotionless marriage, perhaps you should take your tanned muscle energy and banana hammock penis to the sex therapist along with your wife. Maybe, just maybe...you will find out that YOU turn her off.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542691626.html

Right. I've heard THAT before "LTR always possible" sure sure sure.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542438419.html

Although I loved this sweet poem, I think Carmel Kat ignored English class beginning around 4th grade. But regardless, I loved this poem. Am not sure if this is a woman or a man, perhaps both. Interesting!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/542367055.html

What is an American Arabic? Is this mens a form of the English and Arabic language? And I LOVE fried food, but a Girlfried? I don't know. That is pushing it. My advice mens in search of womens, eh-hem, girlfrieds, know yourself first then post an ad, who knows, you might get a couple of responses from womens who are dipped in something fried-tastic. (I had to ignore the pic in the limo because it's too fried-cheesy).

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/542250376.html

Impressive.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542887571.html

Is it impossible mens to limit the usage of "lol" to 1 max? Please, when writing your desperate plea to the womens on CL, refrain from sharing that you sound like a chipmunk, not impressive. Please have paid attention in English class for more than 5 minutes every year of your schooling, and please be clear about what you mean by "shiny things". Please be kind to the past womens in your life and do not post her photo on your ad, she deserves A LOT better. This posting should be listed on it's own special CL list titled "What the fuck?" and it will definitely go on the top 10 list of "Holy Shit, This Dude Could Procreate".
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/543092535.html

CL- Houston flavor

Once a week I will post some favorite dudes in search of their womens from a different city other than Washington, DC.

Here's a little Houston mans search for his womens:


He might want to take a few moments between snap shots of his tats to pick the garbage off his floor.
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/542296914.html

I like his last photo and I like that he wants a babe who doesn't smoke crack, especially if she sold her wheels for the crack. But what the F is up with guys wanting all the womens to have a car? What, oh what, is wrong with the womens having a Zip Car membership?
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/542175856.html

I want to just caution my womens looking at this posting and thinking that maybe you will send a pic of your pretty feet to him by saying to you a simple "don't".
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/541620539.html

Here's an example my sustainable seafood friends will appreciate CATCH AND RELEASE. Not only should you look at this posting and immediately forget him, but this guy has caught some big ass fish, probably the only two that were left in the Gulf of Mexico this size. Dumb ass.
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/541484120.html

A GREAT tan line to go with a great screen name.
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/540901463.html

Just posting this to prove that mans all over the country refer to a woman as a women. (and how his photo, that was probably taken by a Filipino nurse, looks like Michael Douglas).
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/539382135.html

In addition to creating a CL list that titles "Holy Shit, This Dude Could Procreate", I am going to create a CL list that titles "Womens With Cars Need Only To Reply". (NOTE: for some crazy reason, the link below keeps pointing back to Michael Douglas Filipino nurse fetish guy and not the link intended. But none the less... there are a lot of mens out there wanting their womens or potential womens to have a car).
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/538582050.html

I don't understand....my Winnie the Pooh married my Hollie Hobbie about 20 years ago....so....Winnie???
http://houston.craigslist.org/m4w/538279608.html

Thursday edition of men who make us gag

It's the Thursday edition to "Men Who Make Us Gag" it is the prelude to the desperate Friday/Weekend version, as Thursday's are more tame and then by nightfall...they get really desperate and tomorrow I am sure there will be dozens of crazy/disgusting/needy postings to share...

I think this guy has issues with grammar and spelling. Oh, and black women.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/542085084.html

another rant...but a lovely ode.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542069424.html

Is it just me, or does he really look like he wants to kill us all? Maybe with his strong marathon tongue? (I just had this visual pop in my head from the 1980's series "V" and he has a lizard-like tongue that will zip out and snap our heads off if we get a little whiny).
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/541731921.html

I don't know what to say.....
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/541442286.html

Kevin.....Federline.......is that you????? It's a simply thing, Kevin!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/542205539.html

I am going to start a new CL email blast that is titled "Holy Shit, This Dude Could Procreate":
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/541506796.html

I've noticed on several postings that a girl with a car is a must. I feel sorry for the girls who are perfect in every way, but not a car owner, who are rejected. Maybe the guys should say "sign up for Zip Car and we could have a chance to all of you non-car owning womens out there"
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542184837.html

I am only listing this to make fun of myself, because when I read the subject, my mind read "Unrepentant Butt Fun" and I was thinking..what the hell? Then my mind finally grabbed onto the fact that the BUTT was actually BUT. BUT then again, his posting is a little weird.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542179844.html

Back on the wagon

I am back on the wagon quest for the CL'sters men in search of a woman *NOT for myself*! who make us want to gag, laugh, be stunned by, but mostly make us gag. And...I have some time on my hands.

A few of you are new to this email list, you don't have to check any of this out... it's all in fun...but listed below are some Craigslist postings that you might think are as funny, or weird, or as disgusting as I did. Enjoy!


Thomas, Thomas, Thomas...what is up with that last photo? He dashed all my hopes with that one...
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/541074942.html

This one made me throw up a little in my mouth. And, is he trying to suck in his stomach? Is he creepy? he's creepy.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/540687881.html

ooooh, wanting a little chocolate action...
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/541014986.html

Can we say "insecure"??
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/540983047.html

What active and athletic person plays tennis in jeans? I don't understand why he has to emphasize the "get up, get out, go do something" he needs to chill out.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/540977148.html