Potential mens for your weekend pleasure

What the fuck would a ballerina be doing on Craigslist? I think she is busy. You triple dog dare me to pose as a ballerina?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/542807131.html

First of all, he doesn't look "white" to me. Tanning bed? Sunless tanning lotion? Who knows. But what I do know is this: if you are in a sexless and emotionless marriage, perhaps you should take your tanned muscle energy and banana hammock penis to the sex therapist along with your wife. Maybe, just maybe...you will find out that YOU turn her off.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542691626.html

Right. I've heard THAT before "LTR always possible" sure sure sure.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542438419.html

Although I loved this sweet poem, I think Carmel Kat ignored English class beginning around 4th grade. But regardless, I loved this poem. Am not sure if this is a woman or a man, perhaps both. Interesting!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/542367055.html

What is an American Arabic? Is this mens a form of the English and Arabic language? And I LOVE fried food, but a Girlfried? I don't know. That is pushing it. My advice mens in search of womens, eh-hem, girlfrieds, know yourself first then post an ad, who knows, you might get a couple of responses from womens who are dipped in something fried-tastic. (I had to ignore the pic in the limo because it's too fried-cheesy).

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/542250376.html

Impressive.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/542887571.html

Is it impossible mens to limit the usage of "lol" to 1 max? Please, when writing your desperate plea to the womens on CL, refrain from sharing that you sound like a chipmunk, not impressive. Please have paid attention in English class for more than 5 minutes every year of your schooling, and please be clear about what you mean by "shiny things". Please be kind to the past womens in your life and do not post her photo on your ad, she deserves A LOT better. This posting should be listed on it's own special CL list titled "What the fuck?" and it will definitely go on the top 10 list of "Holy Shit, This Dude Could Procreate".
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/543092535.html