Rats, tigers, and whores, Oh My!

It's difficult to focus on my mens on CL when there is a truck with a large air filled rubber rat on top of it with a blow horn shouting out all the wrongs that Jury's Hotel is into. Shut-up large rat, shut-up!


Dear Drunk Whore Babes of CL: Skip this one and go on to the next ad which will surely be up your drunk ways alley. Don't let me fool you, I am curious about the arm chair covers on his legs, but more interested in what appears to be a trash bag covering a majority of the fireplace. It's a wonderful thing to finally find a mens who is ok with our zits and ugly ways and will still hold our hand in public in a very manly way. I got sucked into his ad with his headline, makes me want to create one of my rap-rants that only sounds good to my best friend and me.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/596070547.html

A personal ad who is not only posting in the most annoying font and spacing and writing style, but is plugging Obama. I seriously question his professional success when he writes like this, unless he is drunk, then I will make an exception. But maybe I am going all softy on this mens and his quest for a race not important CL babe for him to pamper with no regrets and sharing with the woments that he is tall and athletic with no gut and a heterosexual male, isn't he on the mens iso woments page? Go get him, babes!
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/595846718.html

Dear Hippie Haired Stephen King look alike,

No, I did not guess that you were an aspiring writer, what did you say in your first paragraph that alluded to this? I read your ad because I am 5'9 and thin and a dork, and holy shit, I am wearing a black skirt right now, it must be love. Why would you decide on your hair length based on a CL babes desire for it to be long or short? I am curious if your overnight retail job is at the Springfield Wal-Mart? Best of luck in your search for your tall skinny woment, I have to pass based on so many reasons.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/595626478.html

I want to go!! But not with you. sorry. I learned from my experience with the David Sedaris fiasco. shivvver. (and added this just to plug Jose Gonzalez as he is indeed fantastic).
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/595584164.html

I don't want to chill in your krib, but in your bathroom. My mind is going all kinds of crazy with that tiger skin on the bathroom wall, and you know I worked out the sign that is in the back ground in the mirror. Oh yes and what the fuck?
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/595578576.html