Strap on and Rock Out!

Dear Dedicated Readers of the award winning Men Who Make Us Gag: will you forgive me for not blogging since August? I have been busy with life and my own dealings with the douche bag mens of the community. I shudder to think of all the men on CL that have gotten away with heir loser ass ways without my hyper focus on them. Thankfully, they are stupid and keep posting. Enjoy!

______________________________________________________________________
I'll never look at my TV remote the same again. His need to clarify that this strap-on is his real one was unnecessary as well as letting the Babes of CL know that his ass can handle 10 inches inside it.

Strap-on Action Im a real man who can take a big 10"

I got a new 10" strap-on and am looking fro a female (married or single) all races welcomed. I can host or travel. I have a private condo and am very discreet. Daytime, night time or weekends.

Pic is my real strap-on.



____________________________________________________________________

The first "sentence" has left me wondering what this hottie is saying. Someone has been burned, me thinks, by a womens who was a mens at some point. But let's see... like water? to drink it? float in it? So a CL Babe can be obese, but not morbidly? Aren't many morbidly obese womens kinda not in the mood to date, especially date this tool? Photo #3... pretty sure his buddies hand is in his mouth. Nice. Klassy.

Looking for fun outgoing girl who likes to Rock Out

Do you like to rock out with you _______ out? (Females only, and females who have been females their whole lives!) Do you like beer pong and jager, but have an education or are in the process of getting one? Do you have a job and goals? If you do, we will get along famously! However mainly what im looking for is a girl who isnt crazy, loves to laugh, likes music, sports (Hockey or racing a plus) not morbidly obese, likes to travel, likes water, and all that good stuff!!! If you want to know about me, hit me up ask away! ____________________________________________________________________

I think he is posting dirty computer messages at his grandma's house. And he summed up his personal ad with his first six words.

i just wanna meet someone worth

im not really good at words how to express my self im kinda shy at first whn mmetin new people
but onse u get to know me im really funny in sum points i have ma own band i play the gitar n also write songs tht kinda me thing tht i have on me im really honest and loyal person
n u can alwyz laid ur head in my shoulder when u have a bad day n ill make sure tht ull leave with an smile ..n when it comes to honestly im here i dont lie or jst tell other stff other thn the true ,most girls says im really swwet n i dont know if they r right i enjoy writin poems drawin im the kinda of guy u can alwyz go for advises or help cus im gona b there for u no mattr wats..uh n im also romantic .bein romantic is sumtin tht i descrive my slef ..

well jst wanna say thank for comin by my profile i really hope to hear from u n i would like to share one of my poems
these words tht come from my heart n my mind they r true i nvr hurt a gilr or cheated cus i know how it feels.. begin hurt i been trough alot of depression im really nice person n sensitive :(
ass i said u can always count on me even ass a friend ...if u need anything im here ill listen n advise u :)really hope to hear from u
well jst hit me up my msn maurironal2002............com
or my aim '
sn is
maurironal17
or to my yahoo
is maurironal2002.............com
____________________________________________________________________
This mens served in Iraq, and for a serious moment... thank you and glad you made it back. Now to your personal ad, Jarob. You writing about yourself the way that you are makes you sound like an idiot and I would highly suggest leaving off the photo of you in the hospital till you get to know your womens better. You are letting it all hang out here..what's the rush? You are only 26 years old, you do have time, you survived Iraq, right?

------------>COLD WET BORED AND BACK FROM IRAQ SORE =) <--------------

Hi there, My name is Jarob I live in this High Crime Buttoned-up Blue
Collar Beltway Vibe City, Dealing With The Sweltering Summers, A Coked
Out Ex Mayor, Taxation Without Representation And I Can't Leave Out
The Eight Years Of A Dumbass Administration. Anyway I call D.C. my
home just like yall. I'm from Illinois, But while I was in Iraq I got
shot up and the Military brought me here to heal up and Walter Reed. I
really just love the area so Ive decided to stay. I grew up in the
country but Love the city, so I reckon I'm kind of a Yuppy Redneck if
that makes sense. I've been in the Army for about 8 Years, they are
workin on Med Retiring me, which sucks but it's time. I was in a long
term relationship but that fell apart back in January, so Ive been
single since then, finally deciding it sucks =-) I've posted on here
once before but mainly only made a couple friends. I'm not really
lookin for more friends =-) I have a myspace loaded with photo's so if
your interested send me your link I'll most likely add you. I'm lookin
for someone that is active, but can still lay around some days. I'm
extremely active, Like ADD active ha ha. I'll spend hours just walkin
around the monuments and city. Ummm I love dogs so If you have a Pup
your a Sho-in =-)I'm sure as shit not a player or anything Jacked up
like that. I'm def a one women type of guy =-) I'm also looking for
someone close to my age 26, I know I'm gettin old but I'm dealin with
it =-)
If your enterested email me and we'll figure something out.
"Jarob" ____________________________________________________________________

Friday fuck-ups.

Although it is highly typical for the mens on CL to not know how to spell, every ad I read was full of errors and idiocity. Coming to the conclusion as I ranted that if you can't spell, you shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Aren't the babes of CL turned off by a man who is an idiot but wants to touch her boobies?

_____________________________________________________________________

Babes of CL, I know you might be confused by this personal ad because first he says "attractive girls only" but then wraps this beauty of words up with "only serious girls". Let my help you, you are a woman, not a girl, right Babe of CL? And if you are attractive and serious then I would assume that you wouldn't want this guy who can't spell, punctuate and that photo of him is not promising. I peered at it so close my eyeballs were burning from the computer screen and he's not good looking but rather he looks a bit like satan.

........ATTRACTIVE GIRLS ONLY....... - 29 (downton dc)

---

Reply to: pers-807532273@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-08-22, 3:58AM EDT


Are you sweet and fun to be with? do you like to party like crazy and have a romantic dinner at the same time? then me and you match... i like to party like crazy but stay in control never hangout; im looking for some one to have good time with; if you are sponteneous with asense of humor then we really match.. who knows we might have good chemistry..
im in dc tonight and i have booking at an upscale nightclub in K street (no Ceuing no bullshit). my pic is attached so you know who you are hanging out with and i need to see your picture as well
send me an email and ill give you my no and arrange to meet.
who knows we might be good friends or soulmates!!this is not a scam so dont waste my time... only seriuos girls

____________________________________________________________________ Mens, I've said this to you many times, don't be wasted when you post your ad to the babes and womens on CL. When we read your ad our mind takes on a slur all of its own. Are you a catholic? Trying to find a balance from your searching for a babe to sleep with randomly with posting "God is Love"? If you can't spell then you shouldn't be having sex. u wanna go out this weekend - 29 (fairfax) Reply to: pers-807468747@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-08-22, 1:38AM EDT if you like what you see send me a mesage and i will tell you any thing you like to konw pleas includ a picture and basic information about you such as what you looking for age..... ____________________________________________________________________________ I've heard that assholes need loving too, and when you advertise yourself as an asshole and post your photo and write like you do on CL then that also means you are a douche bag. Where do you like to travel to? Wal-Mart in Manassas? I would like to introduce you to something, it's called a period. Now don't be "ew, I don't like it when my womens gets her an ikcy nasty period, yee-fucking-haw" because I am talking about punctuation. I know that is a big word for you, but please return to 6th grade and listen to your teacher this time. . THIS IS IMPORTANT TO READ !!!!! SO CHECK IT OUT - 23 (LEESBURG ASHBURN STERLING) Reply to: pers-807385913@craigslist.org Date: 2008-08-21, 11:37PM EDT HEY LADIES MY NAME IS DANIEL AND IM HERE FOR THE REAL THING LOVE AND A SOULMATE AND IM TIRED OF THE BAR ONLY ONE THING TO FIND THERE BUT ANY WAYS IM LOOKING TO FIND SOMETHING SPECIAL SO PLEASE NO SPAMMERS AND NO MEN ANYWAYS I AM A CARPENTER AND I LIVE IN LEESBURG AND HANG OUT AT KPS AND BUNKERS BUT HERE ARE SOME PICS AND I HOPE YOU LIKE I LIKE TO DO ANYTHING AND I MEAN ANYTHING ESPECIALLY IF IT GETS MY ADRENALINE PUMPING I LOVE COOKING AND MOVIES AND TRAVELING IF YOUR INTERESTED HIT ME UP AND THEN WE CAN GO FROM THERE (NO MEN AND NO SPAMMERS) ______________________________________________________________________________ Oh, beauty inside as well! Who knew there was a mens who wanted THAT from us babes? It's not too appealing to read "tired of jus sleepin with women" not only because of the grammar but because he is a whore dog and what good babe of CL wants his dirty dick near her beautiful vagina? Please notice the photo, I am interested in what appears to be a man in a suit standing next to him, just beyond the flash. Had enough - m4w - 28 (dupont) Reply to: pers-807077159@craigslist.org Date: 2008-08-21, 7:09PM EDT tired of jus sleepin with women and wanna find som1 4 a serious realtionship (life partner), im tired of playin around, cos with age comes maturity (don wanna b a playa no more), im in2 all sorts of sports and as u can c im in shape, if u wanna no anythin else, jus ask, im open 2 any race or color, cos i am in2 women in general, and pls hav a nice personality, cos like all the so called hot chicks i no r bitches, so im lookin 4 that inside beauty aswell, and also NO GUYS pls ____________________________________________________________________

Pregnant womens stealing the single woments men!

A much needed few months off- and away from- the sleaze..uh, men.. on CL. But I have returned now from my wonderful slumber, rudely awakened by the sick readership of this blog.

____________________________________________________________________
This is a new one. Does he want to have a sexual relationship with the pregnant woman, nurse on her breasts? eat her baby? What?

any pregnant women alone and seeking - 28 (silver spring)

I am looking for a pregnant woman to be part of her life, go through all the events leading up to birth, more of the chemistry is right,
single white male, good looking, stable and fit.
your pic and a few words about you would be helpful.



____________________________________________________________________

So it has come to this. A man thinking that the first step to flirting is asking a woman what color her panties are. I wonder what he is doing Wednesday evening that a real 'date' can't happen. He's 24 and already on the path of being a douche bag. And, did he take these panties out of his sister's dresser drawer?

Office flirt - 24 (Downtown DC)

---

Looking for a little flirting at work today - really makes the day go faster! If we click, maybe a 'real' date later tonight or Thursday after work!

So I'll start...

What color are your panties?



____________________________________________________________________

Yes, that is what a subject line is for anyway, to grab attention, good job. Yes, gays would respond to you because you are gay. What is that hanging on the shower rod? Your man lovers under pants? But thanks for being clear that you are only into a hook up and the older womens of CL will be thrilled that you are ok with them.

MY POSTING IS BETTER THAN THE OTHERS

---

Reply to: pers-802355033@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-18, 4:52PM EDT


Please no gays respond. I tried this earlier and they all came out of the woodwork. What is it with you all? Aren't there gay personals?

BTW, the title was just to grab attention.

Anyway..

I am looking for a casual fling with a women. If things click after hooking up (that is what I am mostly looking for right now) then who knows what will happen. I have a thing for older women in their late 30's to 40's. Although, I normally date women my age or within a couple years.

I guess I like all the normal things..Football (go skins), skiing, snowboarding, movies..I'll tell you more if you ask.
Here is a pic. If it sparks your interest then please respond and we will talk more.



____________________________________________________________________

like OMG, mens, you are ugly. I like my mens hot, yo. I don't wanna touch yer bawdy. For real? Come on, does this really attract the babes of CL? Womens, we need more than this.

like OMG, Becky, look at her butt. I LIKE BIG.... - 22 (ya mama don't wear no drawers)

---

Reply to: pers-800183482@craigslist.org


Finish this phrase for me. Oh, do you like my bawdy? Do you want to touch it like a nawghty little school girl from Cambridge?



____________________________________________________________________

I've spotted a new trend on CL, aside from the mens call the babes out there "womens" or "woment" and her needing to own a car, mens are now leading up to a date with a predate flirt via AIM. He is a cute little dude, though.

AIM Chat & Quick Date :) - 26 (Alexandria)

---

Reply to: pers-799808539@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-16, 5:59PM EDT


stuck in my office right now (yeah I came to work on a beautiful Saturday afternoon) and feeling ... a little uneasy and unsettled and just wanting to have some company in my office or for after work.. so if anyone's interested in meeting up or got an idea of whatever hit me up on AIM. My AIM is smallcooldude123

A corn holer, candy and a philosopher

What does a corn holer, candy and someone abusing an 18th century philosopher have in common? See below and think about title of this blog.

-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------

Looking at his weird backend makes it most difficult to imagine any form of sexy exchange with this mens. It looks like someone is hiding under the bed as well. Why don't people tidy up before taking photos of their corn holers? I sure hope none of my massive fan base was eating when looking at this photo of disastor.

Sexy Email Exchange

Friday is almost here but Thursday is going a bit slow. Want to make it go by faster by exchanging some sexy, erotic emails? I love using my tongue all over a woman's body to please her. '69' with the woman on top is especially hot! Tell me what you enjoy and we'll go from there. Ciao. NO MEN

-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------

Yay! A mens who will let us eat candy from his hairy arm!!

Married and Wanting More

Professional good looking business guy that doesn't get enough at home ! Are you in the same position ? I am clean, D&D free, in shape and knows how to please my lady ! I have been told that I am well equipped and can last ! ME- WM, 165, 5"7, brown Eyes, Brown hair/distinguished look. YOU- 25-50, Any Race, NO SMOKERS, NO BBW, NO GUYS. Lets talk first then start with drinks and see where it goes. Can host during the day. Lets connect, you will not be disappointed! Send me a photo and you will receive mine.

-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------

I wonder which one is Hume. Regardless, what?

have you seen this castle

Where is it? Bonus points if you gave David Hume a lap dance. I did. It was raining (big surprise) and I almost slipped and died. But it was worth it. Hume is Hot.

-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------

Weenie Wednesday

I just needed to say, how is it truly possibly for so many fucking idiots to exist?

-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------
Hola Senor Pija, I would like for you to learn how to spell, just kidding, but seriously, that would be nice.

Hola, I'm a smokin hot man beast.... kinda

hello, I am 5'10, 190, blue eyes, blah blah, theres a pic, I am looking for a woman that likss to go out and eat something nice and have a few drinks, then make some bad decsions.. just kidding, but seriously, it would be nice. Nah, im just looking to meet a really nice and attractive girl to be friends with, then build from there.





-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------
Is the scale that you are wanting the babes of CL to rate you on based on that Hotel for Date Rapists photo? Then you get a 10 for looking like a man who doesn't know how to get a woman without slipping some rohypnol in her cocktail.

P.S. for Alexis: I thought this was Patrick at first....wah hahahaaa

pic rating please

Recently single on 1-10 scale be nice lol!

-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------

Ok, my sweet honeys on the CL man prowl, this lovely dude is nipping at the scotch, but wait...there might be a chance for relationship AFTER you mate...(cold up my spine thinking about mating with him) and doesn't understand that we don't want to look at that pic. He's so selfish.

LOOKING FOR CUTE WHITE GIRLFRIEND WITH BENEFITS LTR IF WE MATE

LETS C WERE THING GO I HAD A NINE MONTH RELATIO0NSHIP THANKS TO CRAIGSLIST AND WELL LETS C WHATS OUT THERE PLEASE BE CUTE,WHITE,UNDER 130 AND HAVE A JOB OR GO TO SCHOOL....SEND PICS TO 2FOUR0 7NINE3 2NINE2NINE

-----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------

It's a Dear John Asshole Monday

Monday, oh Monday.... how I am amazed by your ability to produce the dirt of the douche's so beautifully. The mens must have had a rough weekend alone and staring at their ugly naked bodies in the mirror with their cameras. Oh, Monday, Monday..... how you bring such pain to the good womens of the world.

--------------------------------------cut here if interested--------------------------------------
Let's see, if he attends "Douche Bag University" part-time - THAT I would believe. But knowing how to drive and work full-time, hell no...there's no way he's smart enough for either one.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!Looking For Wifey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im lookin a female who has something going for her self , a job, car, own place fun to be with likes to go out spend money and who is LOYAL. You have to be LOYAL. About me Im doing good for myself i work full-time school part-time drive and will never cheat!!!!

If you are MRS RIGHT you can last leave a picture and your number and i will get back to you

----------------------------------cut here if interested----------------------------------------
Dear Scary Man: are you trying to push the gay out of your body? Please just go ahead and post on the men seeking men site. And so you know.... something about your tone makes you appear to have killed and eaten a child. When you use all caps, it makes the womens here a tad nervous.

CAN WE MAKE A SHADOW IN THE SUN SET

can we make a lasting memory..... together? fun,spontaneous,outgoing,honest,sincere,trustworthy,affectionate,and a true cuddle bug and love to make the most out of every moment with a special lady..looking for long term..this is the pic of the sunset where our first kiss would take place......if you was willing to meet a non judgemental,affectionate caring guy....im 5 ft 9..brown hair,babyblues.185,gotee and mustache..d/d free//i really love to hold hands..the sky is no longer the limit..if you use yahoo messenger..lets talk...kisses till then.....yes i take a lot of sunset pics on the bay..........join me.....I DO WHAT I SAY AND SAY WHAT I DO..GUARANTEED I WILL LIVE UP TO EVERYTHING IVE POSTED...LETS FIND OUT

------------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------

Dear meat eating soy milk drinking idiot: I am posting you on the award winning "Men Who Make Us Gag" because who are you? I don't think you know and you annoyed me with all your chitter chatter about liking this and blah blah blah and made me curious all over my tingly brain with your "I don't go out alone because I have few safety requirements". What? You get a 1/4 star for posting a fantastic pic. Now please do everyone a favor and never post again. Oh, and how about if you get some new friends who like to hike and how you dress? Figure it out already.

Yes, that sequence of words I just said made perfect sense.

I'm in Augusta ME on a two week work trip. I don't think there's going to be much to do around here so now seemed like a good time to do this. I tried about 6 months ago and all I ended up doing was deleting e-mails from men. Sadly I had more responses from them than women.

So I'll start with the history of me. Band guy in school. Now I play a little guitar here and there. I've barely touched my xbox 360 in a long while but I enjoy it when my friends are on. I started reading The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and will probably read it quickly. At least faster than my last book, 1491. I like to drink and maintain a buzz that doesn't allow me to drive. I don't like getting drunk. I don't smoke anything. My degree is in Geology and I work in HR for the gov. I'm non religious and a liberal. I love the recent line of comedy movies that are out. I'm fairly well versed in movies. Big fan of shows like Futurama, Arrested Development, 30 Rock, and some old BBC. I think my humor reflects that. And music; an amalgamation of rock, punk, emo, new wave, oldies, 80's.

I like to hike but my friends don't. I never go out alone because I have a few safety requirements. I'm not a vegetarian but love soy milk and sometimes cook with tofu. I try to be old fashioned in the good way. I think I do well when it comes to fashion but my friends disagree.

I'm not necessarily looking for a clone or doppelganger. Someone who has similiar ideals would be appreciated.

It's hard to find a good picture because I tend to do strange things in them.

---------------------------------cut here if interested-----------------------------------

Basically, #1 Douche of the week and it's only Monday, I think you aren't clearly communicating with her. Obviously if you tell her it's not working and then you are out in a bar with her hitting on other women in front of her...it's you. Why continue seeing her and having sex with her after you tell her it's not working? Sounds like you've spent a lot of time with her to know so much about her, so before you go on about her drunk ways, let's take a look at your loser ass and please tell me what CL babe would want to be in your presence- let alone have your dick in her vagina after you so beautifully enthralled us with it being on the fat flaps of her scamper?

Advice for Breakup and New Woman

I need a way to say the following items but in a way that she will understand:

1. Your intelligence is on par with the domestic ass and you think you are the smartest woman on earth.

2. Wear clothes that fit you. Come on, you can't fit your size 14 body into Ann Taylor Size 8.

3. When you are sleeping you saw logs so loudly that my neighbor complained to me about it.

4. Get out and exercise you lazy cow. You have an excuse to always avoid the gym or even simple walking at night.

5. The only thing we have in common is that we enjoy being intoxicated on Friday night.

6. Why can't you get the point when I told you that the only reason I asked you out in the first place was because I already had four shots of tequila and you hid your body well under clothes.

7. You cough so loudly my floor shakes when you do it... Are you going to cough up some unknown life form out of that lung? Is that why you are shaped like a damn watermelon?

8. I stopped calling you. I stopped coming over to your place. Why can you not take this as a hint?

9. Sex is horrible with you. I definitely wouldn't of hit that if I was sober at the time. There are fat flaps around your scamper. You have to make the Moses parting the red sea movement to move this camel-toe-esque fat lobs out of the way to get the job done.

10. You cannot get the hint when I say this isn't working you keep calling and showing up. What the hell is wrong with you???

11. I have hit on other girls in front of you... Ones that are actually attractive and you still cling to me - yet state over and over that you possess high self-esteem.

12. Oh yeah, one last thing, why do you think it's acceptable to go the bar every night when you have a child at home? Don't get me wrong I love going on the weekends, maybe one night in the week occasionally (If I had a bad day at work), but every goddamn night? Are you seriously trying to be a freakin’ drunk???

Anyone have advice on communicating these views to this girl so that she will comprehend them please for the love of peace please tell me how to pound this into her oversized head!!! Also, if you know of a good woman who wants a good man and finds the above a little amusing, please email.

---------------------------------cut here if interested-----------------------------------

Friday's are for Corn Holers

That rat is back. Blaring out it's microphone, disturbing my thoughts, making the CL posts even that more irrating and wow have they been boring. Apparently all the real douche bag mens found some CL babes to dry hump. And if you are interested in some corn holer games... www.hillbillygames.com/how.shtml

____________________________________________________________________

You can't control the nipple twisting babes of CL, so you shut the hell up.

Nipple shockers

If you read enough of these ads (god knows I have) you may come to realize that most people fit into the vanilla flavor of lifestyle. Oh but I'm unique,and cultured, I'm a worldly traveler.... Shut the hell up, your not special. Honestly, I'm not that special either, I breathe the same air as everybody else. But I live my life with more fun and enthusiasim than most. A risk taker, but more than just that, someone who appreciates the beauty of a moment. I don't need a girl to feel fulfilled in my life, but I would like to share the experience with someone. So to recap I'm not looking for the ho-hum "I like going out but also like to cuddle up on the couch with a good movie next to someone special" loser, That been said, I'm also not looking for the polar opposite pshyco that wants to electrify my nipples during sex. Maybe something in between. lol. In exchange for good conversation and a sunny disposition I'll offer dancing, drinks, and a few adventures, funny stories that make you laugh til your ribs hurt, and good cooking. Have pix, but not for your collection.

____________________________________________________________________

Me and My Amazing Ass reposted.... I refuse to relist his rant about how sexy his corn holer is...if your curious, see Tuesday's post. However, I am posting the newst pic of said asshole.

____________________________________________________________________

The creative writing is genius. What makes us woment stop with our pie preparing for your big suagage fest is the photo. "Drunk Drive" "Beware of the Dog".

want to eat

tasty big sausage looking for some pie to eat.

____________________________________________________________________

Wow. Wow. My mind had been blown!! Blown!! A Sybian!

It's a Rainy Friday night. Try out my Sybian

It's a rainy Friday and I'm staying home for a change. I have a new Sybian that you can come here to use or I'll come to you, or even still, meet somewhere neutral that you feel comfortable with. This new sybian comes with removable attachements, still factory sealed. I get to watch. Me: 6'8" tall, good shape, white male attractive and sane.

Hairy Scary Atlanta Thursday!

Today's blog is pulling from the CL studs-n-scumbags of the Atlanta area. Dedicated to the lovely Jaime who can string together the most eloquent of profanity and sent this link to me today:

http://www.11alive.com/news/article_news.aspx?storyid=115477

----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------------
This stud of all studs in Atlanta picked at my heart strings and beer drinking ways.I did have a hard time imagining a little cuddle time with him.

Get ya motor running!

Whats up? Well I figure, what the hell, might as well give it a whirl. I am 54, divorced,love the out of doors, hopeless romantic, guitar pickin,beer drinkin, cigarette smokin,dry witted, cuddling kinda guy! IF YOU LIKE THOSE CHARACTERISTICS, GIMME A SHOUT! But if you are 5' 250lbs or have 13 younguns, keep looking, prefer single women with no kids, mine are grown and I am not raising yours!



----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------------
Dear The Shit:

1. When you call your penis your "member" it makes me a little nervous.
2. Sure, not interested in a jack off buddy... What?
3. And let you jack off to my pic? you have funny rules.

Looking for someone worth a shit

1) I'm not going to send you a pic of my member

2) I don't want a jack off buddy

3) Please respond with a pic

Hi, I'm 28,single and looking for a mature girl. I'm looking for someone that I can hold a conversation with. Needs to be fun, athletic, laid back and have etiquette. I enjoy just about anything except being in the company of douche bags. I'm professional and very domesticated for a guy. I can be romantic and I'm always down for something spontaneous. One of the biggest things for me is honesty and being authentic. Everyone has problems, issues and can be difficult. You have to come to terms with that and be willing to own up, except someone for who they are and compromise. If this sounds good, you know the drill. Pic please and I know mines vain. Oh yeah, I probably don't suck as bad as your last boyfriend.

----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------------
I've had a headache all day and am disappointed to not have anything better to come up with other than, what the fuck?

IF YOU ARE SUPER-HAIRY AND DON'T SHAVE - YOU CAN BE RICH

If you are a woman with a breathtaking amount of body hair and proud of it (or at least not ashamed), you can be living a life of luxury beyond your wildest dreams. Serious replies only please.

----------------------------------cut here if interested------------------------------------------

Tuesday is for the horny mens.

Dear Readers:
Two months since I last posted the sexy and daring mens rants and search for the babes of CL. Enjoy.

--------------------------------cut here if interested-------------------------------

I was especially pleased to see this posting... after reading a few too many dull ones today, I came across this green goblin whose dick surely trembles with delight at the sight of a smurf.

Irish Leprechaun Lookin' For Love In All The Wrong Places

c'mon... on craigslist? yeah that's what i mean by "wrong places" but a friend of mine suggested this place (yeah that's what they all say blah blah blah) so i figured, FUCK IT... i don't know what i'm looking for as far as women are concerned... i'm not really looking for anything... except truth... i'd like to experience things that raise my consciousness level... hard to attract girls with honesty, trust, respect and integrity in this media. MAYBE there's ONE girl. maybe one. out there somewhere. because, basically, i like the feeling of connecting with someone, and i like when my balls tingle and my dick gets hard. it energizes me. ?

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/m4w/668579215.html

--------------------------------cut here if interested-------------------------------------

-----------------cut here if interested------------------
Ah, thank you Jesus... there are still mens out there with not just brains, but are asses, I mean have a great ass.

Me and My Amazing Ass

It's helped me meet women, it's an icebreaker at parties and too often I catch women I'm talking to looking at it when they should be looking in my eyes. I mean there are other parts of me- my strong arms, shoulder, great smile, beautiful eyes and not least, my brain. I mean can't a guy that's smart, funny, sweet and educated be more than just an incredible ass? It's ok if you want to look, I'll probably even show you but you're not dating my ass, you're dating me. The ass is only part of the package.Female versions of me (women with amazing asses) are encouraged to reply. Just be forewarned that mine will probably put yours to shame. I'm sure you're more than your ass though.

---------------------------------cut here if interested---------------------------------------

-------------------cut here if interested-------------------
This caption says it all ... and I think he really means it. My sweet innocent mind is wondering if that is a wedding band... and are those Tommy underpants... sweet...that's fine, as long as he has some sexy underwear on, who cares about the wedding band, especially when he signs off with some kisses, what a sweetie.

super horny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hey girls been honest i am looking for fun dont get it wrong i just have human needs...... and looking for the miss rigth as well but just time will decide it iam single living in ashburn if u live near by and want to have fun let me know iam off tuesday and wedenesday.. hope to hear from u ...xx

-------------------cut here if interested-------------------

--------------cut here if interested-------------------
Girls or women are wanted.... not interested in... but wanted. I am curious about the girl part. Is it age 12 or older? Does he think that once a girl gets her period that makes her a womens? If you can only operate a microwave, do not cut out this ad.

XXXXX wanted XXXXX

Wanted nice girl or woman for fun loving man who is willing to commit to a long term relationship. Must be open to possibility of having a child if decided upon between us or if it just happens by accident. Must love to camp out and have good times together on spur of the moment decisions. also must love family functions cause i have a large family and we have lots of comedians amongst us and pranksters. Goofiness is a must but also have the serious side also. No cheaters please and only women with morales and good cooking skills need reply.

-------------------------cut here if interested---------------------

Friday Snooze

Today's posts are boring and I am crazy busy. Just one loser and one who needs to open his eyes and I need to close mine.

I was a lover of the apple pie and this mens just made me associate a douche bag with it, it's ruined now. Fourth of July will never be the same for me again. I will say this for the 322nd time, mens, do not write LOL, I know that you already look and sound pathetic, but it is like nails down a chalk board, it's about me and my comfort when reading your desperate pleas for a CL babe. (PS I don't like the picture, where are you?)
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/598343383.html

Whoa. I don't like having a visual of this guy masturbating in his office, well anywhere for that matter, and I need to believe that he is not actually masturbating in his wallet. Norma Jean....hello? Change your phone number, change your email address. How does this mens know when Norma Jeans man is out of town? Angry mens who wrote this, you might want to take a second look at Norma Jean in all of this as well. Poor Deb.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/597195888.html